December 2008

Have a Nice Nice New Years baby

12/31/08fuentesfunny.jpg  (You’ll figure out the title at the end).

MLB TV launches tomorrow at 4pm MST.

This just in (sort of):

Tito got himself a job, and he’s going back to Cali, Cali Cali.

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No unemployment line for this super-southpaw. Rockies former reliever Brian Fuentes has just signed a two-year deal with the LA Angels.

Tito worked a deal for 17.5 million over the next two seasons with a club opiton for 9 million in 2011.

Nice job man, they’re lucky to have him. Strangest pitch in baseball right there. Good luck Brian.

mike-shanahan234.jpgI listened to most of Mike Shanahan’s press conference this morning, I skipped Pat Bowlens.

 Wow reality has set in, he’s gone. No more Phil Long or that Trice diamond place commercials on the radio. How long until those sponsors sign deals with the new coach?

 Could you imagine Bill Cowher pitching diamonds? That’s funny right there.

Anyways, that seems to be the pattern around here. The sponsors grab them quick. 

Did you know that Shanahan’s contract runs until 2011, and if he doesn’t take another job the Broncos would have to pay him close to 21 million?

Hmm, let me think about this,…7 million a year and I don’t have to work. I know what I’d do, but Mike is just crazy enough to go out and get a job right away.

Mike wants another Super Bowl ring. He’ll go with the team that has potential and that team will be fortunate to have him.  

Bill cowher grabbing11.jpg

 I’m hearing of a few names being tossed around out there as a possible replacments. The biggest one I’ve heard so far is Bill Cowher.

Bill might fit in nicely around Denver.

It probably wouldn’t take him long to get a feel for things around here 🙂 


  Another name out there is Scott Pioli.

 In his seven seasons with the Patriots, Belichick and Pioli led the Patriots to three Super Bowl championships and five division titles.

Pretty impressive, but can he do it on his own







I have also heard mention of Jim Fassel.

This guy was wants a head coaching posiiton so bad he wrote Al Davis a letter expressing interest in the head coach position for the Raiders.

Thats hungry!


 I’d still like to see John Elway in there with the Broncos in some capacity. I’m sure with him being retired and all he doesn’t have his hands full.

It’s New Years Eve, do you have big plans?

I don’t, I work tomorrow early and we’ll probably head over to a friends house and play Rockband for a few hours and I’ll be in bed by 10pm. Sad but true.watch_for_ice.jpg



VanillaIce14.jpgOn a funny note, Vanilla Ice will be the halftime (freak) show at the Nuggets/Hornets basketball game on Jan 3, 2009.  

The first 5000 fans get 80’s sunglasses.
Ice ice baby.jpgHave a Happy New Year everyone, be safe. Don’t be out there cruising in your 5.0 with the top down so your hair can blow…Peace…D
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The Shan gets canned


Mike Sh.jpgHuh?, Mike Shanahan is Broncos freggin history.
huh What.jpgUp until I read R-Luv’s comment about it in the comment section of this blog, I hadn’t heard, or really even considered this.

Well that’s not exactly true, after suffering through Sunday’s game in San Diego and watching the Broncos go from leading the AFC West by three games to losing it  with only only three games left, the idea of Mike taking a hike had creeped it’s way into my head.

<font color="#00275d" Makes you wonder how long Pat Bowlin has been contemplating this move. Some speculated it would happen last year, not me. I thought Mike would retire a Bronco.

 I remember listening to Mike talk a little smack during a radio interview at Broncos training camp this past summer.

Mike was feeling a little cocky and said that he would “Guarantee that the Broncos would make the postseason this year.”

I heard that and thought “oh sheet, he didn’t just say that did he?”

He did, and the Broncos didn’t.

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Every once in a while the topic of canning the Shan would come up in conversation, but it
usually ended with, “yea, but who are you going to replace him with?”

It’s a good question, as pertinent then as it is now, “Who are the Broncos going replace him with?” The only logical answer is Mike Ditka, I’m kidding, or am I? Give it some thought.

flabby elway.jpg

 I’m thinking (I’m sure Pat Bowlen is too), that John Elway could do this if “he” was so inclined, don’t be surprised if that idea gets tossed around into the head coach mix.

Elway as head coach of the Broncos would silence the nay-sayers, appease the fans, and bring peace to a restless Broncos country. 

Plus from a fans point of view, how cool would it be to see Elways mug at Mile High again, running the show just like old times (Just please put on shirt John).

This is what Pat Bowlen had to say about canning the Shan Man: “After giving this careful consideration” (Which means, I had a nice chat with Elway), ” I have concluded that a change in our football operations is in the best interests of the Denver Broncos.

This is certainly a difficult decision, but one that I feel must be made and which will ultimately be in the best interests of all concerned.”

Bowlen went on to say, “I appreciate the 21 years that Mike Shanahan has given to the organization as an assistant and head coach, and the two Super Bowl wins in that time. His contributions hold a special place in Broncos history.”

Shanahan’s record is 146-91 with the Broncos, including 8-5 in the postseason. His 154 victories, including eight with the Los Angeles Raiders in 1988 and ’89, have got him tied with Marv Levy for 15th place on the NFL’s all-time list of coaching wins.shanahan-mike-dvb-3.jpg

On a personal note, I really like Mike. He never pulled punches with anyone. He’s reserved (usually), but is articulate and well (carefully) spoken.

The day the Broncos won their first Superbowl was the day my pug Jonsie died.

That Superbowl had special meaning on a bunch of different levels for me. Mike was running the show then and for that he will always have my respect and admiration.

He was/is a class act and had a knack for spotting hidden talent, especially running backs.Mike frown.jpg


 Mike Shanahan, thank you and good luck in your future endeavors.

Consider purchasing a cowboy hat and taking a road trip to Dallas?

Remember it takes more muscles to frown than it does to smile and Cowboys are usually friendly folk…D
friendly cowboys.jpg 
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Baseball TV for you and me :)


You rock.GIFI appreciate all the comments from the LaMar’s donut entry and all ideas for my F’ed up computer. We’ve got quite the creative bunch of  writer/readers/eaters/marksmen/stunt drivers here in the sphere. Unfortunatly none of your ideas could be legally carried out within the city limits🙂, but I thank you for your input anyway.

mlblogs black1.jpgI’m starting to see a few more Rockies blogs within All I can say is…..

It’s about time. If any of the new “Rockies bloggers” visit here, expose your identity now,…just kidding, welcome. I look forward to reading your blogs.

If you see me at a game, come over and say “hi”, I’m friendly,

I’m just not going to go searching for you if you know what I mean.

It would be inspiring to see more Rockies blogs in the top 100.  

Be proud Rockies fans, I’ll keep chugging along, but I’m hurting for some real live, in front of me, damn that ball almost hit me, dude you spilled beer down the back of my shirt, hey, was that a raindrop?, can I see your ticket please?, that’ll be $15 for the hot dog and coke, why is there always a line when I have to pee?, did I just see a freggin balk?, yes you can have a cotton far off1.jpgcandy, look Hunter we’re first in the Pavilion again, kind of baseball. I need the real deal.

Spring training seems far away today, I guess I’m just ready for a vacation. Plus, I have so much stuff to finish up before we roll out the MBU.

Props to the MLB network launching here shortly. How cool is this going to be, 24/7, whatever your schedule baseball at your fingertips. It’s been a long time coming and we’re ready, thank you MLB,..seriously.

                                                  I hope it’s a huge success.

MLB opening day1.jpg It will be cool watching the MLB Network evolve. Just look at, ESPN, MTV, HBO,..I remember when they first started and believe me they were bare bones broadcasting.

Planet-of-the-Apes.jpgLook at what they are now, whether you watch them now or don’t, you can’t deny the fact that they’ve seriously evolved.

I don’t know what’s happening in Colorado. A week back sub-zero temperatures, now this morning I wake up and take a gander out at my back yard and I couldn’t believe it.

 I had to rub my eyes because I saw a tornado of trash encircling the entire backyard. I opened the sliding glass door and a massive blast of wind blew a stack of papers off of the dinner table all over the place. It was a freaky warm, early morning hurricane of some sort. The winds had to be at least 100 MPH or more.

Thumbnail image for hot_rod_shopping_cart.jpgI managed to drive to work, but the high winds blew me all over the road,(Good thing it was 4 am).

I witnessed the funniest thing this morning, I watched a shopping cart flying across a parking lot about 90 MPH and hit a cement block used in the parking lots.

 When the cart hit the slab, it did a complete 360 landing right back on it’s wheels.

 That was insane, it’s too bad I was the only witness. I swear it happened.

 I was glad when I finally saw someone pull up and park next to my car. Let them pay the $500 deductible for the shopping cart damage.😉

high winds.jpgNow I know why I will never live anywhere near the ocean, or Gulf. I can’t handle extreme weather like that. I kept waiting for a schard of wood or glass or a fork to impale me as I ran to the door of my building.

Fork stuck in  tree.jpgShoot, at that speed anything is a possible projectile.

 I wonder if Boulder even still exists? They’re a little higher up elevation and usually get it worse. Eventually the wind died down around 9am. 

My kids cleaned up the backyard before I could take a picture. It was a freggin mess.

Elway rookie.jpg

Football note: All I can say about my Denver Broncos is: John Elway thanks for the years man. Somehow it  always seemed more exciting when you ran the show. Now,…not so much, oh well, maybe next year.

I’m a little under the weather today, so I’m not going to be hosting the blog radio program tonight at 9pm. I’m not trying to weasel out of it whatsoever (I will do it), I just have a stomach thing and lets leave it at that.

                    For now the wind is gone and so am I…D
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Hard drive crash = no talking trash


overworked.jpgHey all, just wanted to let you know that my computer crashed (hard drive failed).

So I’m working on either trying to reload windows (easier fix), or getting a new hard drive.

 So please be patient as I work franticly to restore my operating system.

 I might finish tonight, I might finish in a few days. I’ll use the wife’s computer to check in.  
Stressed to the max1.JPG                                      Back atcha when I can get it up? :)    …Dhardon personal growth.jpg
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Happiness is Found,…and it’s Round


                                              A LaMar’s Donut.


If you’ve never tasted  one before you’ve never really enjoyed a donut.

Trust me, I was a Baker for years.

I’m just saying, there are very few treasures left in this world that you can purchase for under a dollar.

A LaMar’s donut is sweet dough heaven in the form of a circle.

Notice the ying/yang thing I got going there.

 Just take a look at a couple of these beauties. The image shown is actual size. 

homer_donut.jpgAbove is the LaMar’s chocolate donut.

Notice the perfectly applied ring of chocolate, not so much that it runs down the side spoiling it’s appearance and messing up your hand, but enough that you feel that soft CHOCO-LAT-TE-NESS as your teeth sink into the sweet succulent dough.

Land_of_Chocolate.jpg If you’ve never experienced a Lamar’s chocolate donut before, please do not attempt while operating heavy machinery or while driving. The sudden rush of taste could momentarily overwhelm your taste buds, resulting in possible injury or accident.

                                                Don’t let this happen to you.

car roof1.JPG                                   Hey,……I’m just looking out for you, I care 🙂

                                            Here’s the LaMar’s classic glazed donut.
DSCN5169.JPG No need for a double dip of glaze on this American favorite. It’s not the sugar it’s the taste.

 A single glazing is plenty as it perfectly soaks into the freshly yanked out of the oven little wheels of pastry. 

 One bite of a Lamar’s glazed donut and you’ll find yourself looking at the world in a new light.
wildflowers.jpgFor a brief sacred moment, you’ll find that nothing matters as you consume one of life’s perfect little treasures. It’s just you, Mr. Lamar’s donut and your tastebud extravaganza.

more lamars donuts.gif                   Here’s a link to their website…… Lamar’s, Simply a better donut 

Lamars donuts  asst.gifLamar’s has locations in Arizona, Alabama, Colorado, Kansas, Missouri, and Nebraska. So either plan a road trip or your SOL.

(Note: I have no affiliation with Lamar’s donuts other than we buy them every other Sunday).

sorrypuupy.jpgSo folks on the East Coast and West Coast, go ahead and eat your hearts out because you wont be eating any of Mr. Lamar’s donuts.

Did you know? NBC’s The Tonight Show host Jay Leno dubbed LaMar’s Donuts founder Raymond Lamar the undisputed “King of donuts.” 

You’ve seen Jay Leno, that man knows a good donut when he eats one. But even poor Jay has to settle for Krispy Kremes when he’s out in California.
Jay leno donut.jpg




Another donut conneseuir is Williard Scott.

The Today Show’s big man has been known to argue with host Katie Couric that a LaMar’s donut is the best ever made.





       Me, who am I to argue with those two dudes?   
RPR Lamars 1.jpg           Happy freggin Sunday America, are you ready for the New Year?


Do you know of any treasures you can still find out there for under a buck? 

Tell me about it..I’m all ears and a half a step ahead of you, just so I can open the door…D 

holding door.jpg 
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Even if it’s snowing I’m still going


A few weeks back I received an email from a friend/Rockies regular that I’ve blogged about this season. The email had an attachment.

                                             Here’s what was attached:
Rockies Fest Jan24.jpg

its not better.jpgI couldn’t believe it. How cool is this? The Monforts are finally giving back to the Rockies fans after the terrible World Series debacle. 

Well not quite, it’s free but it’s limited to 5000 people and you have to be a season ticket holder to be able to reserve a ticket.

 I would have mentioned this event earlier but I wasn’t 100% sure I had a ticket for Hunter and I.

Thanks to the above stated “Rockies regular”, (I’ll give out his name if I get permission), I’ll have two tickets for Hunter and I to attend this first annual Rockies/fan extravaganza.

madhouse_4.jpgI read that the Rockies are only allowing 5000 people because this is the first one of these Rockies/fan events and they want to be able to control the flow of people.  

No worries there, the fewer people in attendance the better.  Shorter lines and elbow room are always a plus. 

I went to the Bronco’s Fan Fair this year and it was a two day freggin madhouse. This event should be a little more manageable and enjoyable for all concerned.

The best part of of all of this is if Todd Helton is there, I’ll finally get to meet my favorite ballplayer face to face and get his autograph and hopefully a picture.  



I feel like Earl, the way I’m crossing things off of my “Things to do before I croak” list.

 I’ll finally be able to get autographs from the Rockies players whose signatures are a little more difficult to acquire.

Names  such as Brad Hawpe, Garrett Atkins, Yorvit Torealba and the above mentioned Todd Helton).

 Now all this gets me to thinking, what am I going to get autographed at this event?

 I know exactly what I want Todd Helton to autograph,… a 2007 World Series baseball. I think I’ll bring a couple of those, there’s still a few guys left on the team from Rocktober 2007.

(Note: there is some fine print that states that select autograph sessions and other events will be ticketed seperately, I’m not sure what that means yet).

Not the MBU 1.jpg

   (This is not the Mobile Blogging Unit—>)

What’s also cool is this is my opportunity to  talk to the players and mention the Rockpile Rant.

I plan to inform them we’ll be bloggin from the Mobile Blogging Unit in Tucson at the start of spring training.

I just want them to remember my face so we get some love down in Tucson.. 🙂

Rockies Humidor.jpg

So I wonder, do we get a tour?

 I’d love to get to go behind the mechanical scoreboard, snap a picture of the locker rooms, or maybe even tour the humidor. 

You know, the full fan treatment. 

 Fan Fest is all about us right?..snowy coors field.jpg



This is going to be fun, as long as we get some sun…D
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Would be phat to own this bat


scary santa 11.JPGOk, X-mas is over. No more fat guy in a red suit scaring the crap out of our kids.

It was a huge success and my kids are loaded up with toys and clothes to last another year (I hope).

 I have to say, RockBand is really freggin cool. My wife has this thing where she can’t watch video games for long because of the rapid eye movement jacks her up.

 Not only can she watch Rockband, the kicker is……she really digs playing it.

Judas priest1.jpgI swear my kids rocked out for most of the day. I myself, began mastering the drums.

I only wish you could pick the songs that “you” want to hear. Anyways, just thought I’d give the game a plug. Great family entertainment, plus it gets your kids listening to a lot of the music you listened to growing up, you know, the good stuff.


 So you can think of playing RockBand as sort of a Tiger woods nike.jpgmusical history lesson.

You need to play this game, I’m never wrong about this stuff.

The game I really want to play next is Tiger Woods Golf for the Wii, I can’t wait.Ballparks book.jpg


 My mother and father-in-law gifted me a really cool book about ballparks for X-mas.

The pictures in this book are incredible. There’s some history about the parks too.

Heavy to hold, but fun to read.


                        Below are a few pictures from Colorado’s own Coors field.

Coors page 1.jpg
Coors page 3.jpg          I love pictures, and I love baseball. This was a very thoughtful gift, Thank you.

I work right beside a sporting goods store and I decided to walk over and see if they had any Rockies gear on sale, you know the deeply discounted crap they’re desperate to get rid of.

 They had a whole bunch of Matt Holliday Jerseys priced at half off. 

Bikinis half off1.jpgHuh, only half off? I don’t understand, unless your planning on flying to California and getting Matt to autograph the Jersey, then fly back and hang it on your wall, in my opinion the jersey is almost worthless.  

 Good luck with trying to do that, it’s not easy to get Matt Holliday to sign anything. While he was a Rockie and before home games started, it seemed like he would hide underneath the Stadium until the last minute then come onto the field. 

The dude rarely took batting practice, sorry Matt, but it’s true. I’m not hating, I’m just stating. 



Half off, give me a freggin break. 

I did manage to find a good deal, I found a Rockies hoodie for a great price. 

Actually the price was so good I bought two. 

Just wait a year Tampa Bay Ray fans, you’ll be able to find all kinds of good deals on baseball stuff.

 Here’s  something cool I spotted someone selling:
 I normally would keep this to myself but it offically went out of my price range a little while back.

 It’s Todd Helton’s pink baseball bat
. Click on the link to go straight to the auction. Last I looked it was at $50.00 plus shipping. The auction ends this Saturday around noon.
This bat deserves to be owned by a Rockies fan.

Ok, so someone who doesn’t have any kids step up to the plate here and give this thing a good home. 

                       Your probably the only ones with any cash left after X-mas.

Todd helton pink bat1.jpg
(Just for the record, I do not own this bat, nor do I know who the hell is selling it. I’m just pointing out a neat piece of history up for sale).

This bat was signed and used by Colorado Rockies #17 Todd Helton on Mother’s Day 2008 in observance of Breast Cancer Awareness.

There were seven Rockies players who used the pink bats on Mother’s day.

Todd is my favorite player and I would love to be the owner of this bat. Like I said, I’m telling you about it because I feel a loyal Rockies fan should give her a good home.  

Here’s a link to the story on….. Pink bat story by Mark Newman. I wonder if Todd kept the other bat?

                         Hmmm, who knows I could always give him a ring and ask him?

big nose ring.jpg

Thanks for your click..Peace…Dwinking for peace.JPG
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2009 is Mine




I have a few goals that I would like to accomplish in 2009.

I’m not going to call them resolutions, I don’t like that word, it sounds so final.

The wife and I are officially going to quit smoking again. We both have tried to quit numerous times and failed.

I thought by making a big deal my “trying” to quit  a few months ago, it would help me.

My reasoning was, if a lot of people knew about it, the pressure of letting them down, and the fear of failing publicly would motivate me to stay a non-smoker. Sinkhole 1.jpg

It didn’t work, I caved like a California sinkhole. I managed to stop for just over a week. I want to quit before my doctor tells me it’s too late.

I’m in good shape, I’m active, but I’ve got a serious lack of lung power. Not a good thing in Colorado.

I know that Mark Newman ( is a marathon runner. What I didn’t know was he was a smoker until 2006.

That’s freggin amazing. I know he’s a little older than me, so when I read he used to smoke it really hit home with me.

It can be done, he did it. Simple as that.

snowboarding.jpgI know that I’ll never be able to run marathons (I save what’s left of my knees for snowboarding), but it was inspirational to learn that he pulled it off.

After I read that I heard my inner voice screaming, “Hey stupid, you’ve been smoking over twenty years, why do you keep letting tobacco kick your butt, your healthy, you’ve got a wife, kids and a grandson who want you around”.innervoice.JPG

That voice is usually right. What’s clear to me is, the closer you come to the end of your own personal rope, the louder that voice rings inside your head.

So this is the last you will hear from me on the smoking subject. My wife and I have set a quit date of Jan 1, 2009. If you ask, I’ll gladly give you a status report.

2009 is mine, and I’m going to start it off smoke free. Anyone out there, willing to quit with us? Give me a shout if you think your ready. If I can do it, you can.

                                  Ranter’s personal goals for 2009

1. Give up tobacco.

2. Simplify, we decided we’re not going to purchase anything we don’t need this next year, except cable and internet. 

3. Finish the backyard. It used to be pretty, but I have three dogs. If your looking for work, I pay a nickel a terd, just ask Hunter. 

4. Stretch every morning, sounds silly but it can make or break your day.

5. Eliminate soda, I’m not a huge soda drinker, but I can give this stuff up.

6. Continue to network, make friends, comment on other’s blogs (I read probably 50 blogs a day, but I don’t follow other teams, so sometimes I just don’t have anything intelligent to comment with.

7. Get the VW bus windows sandblasted, back in, and get her ready to paint.

8. Catch a live home run ball at a Rockies game. I know I can do it, it’s all about location. Batting practices are warm-up for the real deal. It’s going to happen, I can feel it🙂

9. Continue to pursue employment with the Rockies. I have a destiny.

10. Snag 100 balls at batting practice, and get Todd Helton’s autograph (I think snagging 100 baseballs at BP will be easier).

11. Have the Road trip to Tucson go off without a hitch, and let it be the best guys vacation ever, I need this vacation.

12. Read a baseball book a month. I work full-time and the wife says I blog full time. I can squeeze in a book a month. Especially if it’s a subject I’m passionate about. 

13. Last but not least, be the number one blog on for one of the top 50 lists in 2009. I made it as high as three once this season.

What do you think? I’m a realist, so I know not to set my goals too high. I believe I can accomplish these goals.

Our family changed things up this year and were having X-mas dinner tonight. So I’ll be doing nothing but relaxing tomorrow and playing the Rockband on the Wii…

rock-band-game.jpgMerry X-mas to all of you who frequent this establishment. I think of the Rockpile Rant as the Trailer of the It ain’t much on the outside, but once your inside, it’s kind of homey. 

It’s my home and your welcome here anytime. Can you believe it’s been ten years since we partied like it’s 1999?
Prince 1999-1.jpg                                             Peace and Happy New Year…DThumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image 

I’m willing to pay, if you do as I say


baseball_money.jpgI believe there has been more money spent on baseball contracts this last week than the entire country has spent Christmas shopping all of  December. 

I was out last-minute shopping tonight, it was dead out there.


Dodge chall.jpgOn a political note, I’m ok with americans funding the GM/Chrysler bailout if it means every american gets a new GM/Chrysler car for helping fundthis unmonitored sham of a bailout.

I really like that 2009 Dodge Challenger. If the automakers are not willing to at least say thank you by coughing up a free or discounted car for everyone who pays taxes in America, then they need to fold like any other business would be ultimately forced to do.

floaty thing.jpg


 This is America baby, sink or swim bitch.

Your ten years behind on the electric car, WTF were you thinking??



funny yankee.jpg


 I have this love hate thing with the Yankees.

 I love that they are eager enough to aggressively seek out high caliber talent and spend that money, I just hate the fact that they are financially able to do it, money talks. 

I’m not true hater, I think I’m more jealous. I wish the Rockies could bankroll a few good players, but who am I kidding.

Folks who don’t live here in Colorado don’t associate this state with baseball. The Rockies just don’t have any history.

Shoot, a lot of locals here don’t think of Colorado as a baseball state. It’s an uphill battle. 

2007 helped the Rockies gain a little credibility, but the Rockies lost most of it in the World Series.

Surprised dog.jpgI have to tell you I’m surprised every time the Rant makes a top 50 list here on It’s not because I don’t think I can express myself in blog fomat and do it well enough to rank, it’s that the Rockies are not really a big draw to anybody other than Coloradans.  

Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure that there are pockets of Rockies fans scattered throughout this big country.

moving_a_house.gifOne thing I’ve noticed is a lot of people living in Colorado have moved here from other parts of the Country and imported their loyaly to their home team with them.  

How do I know this you ask? Go watch a Rockies or Broncos game live when the Phillies, Cubs or Steelers are in town, it’s not a pretty sight.  

At times, I have personally seen their sheer numbers drown out Colorado fans. It’s a sad thing let me tell you.

Thumbnail image for lf-map.gifAs a loyal Rockies fan, I hate that feeling of being outnumbered in your own house.

 I’ve come to the realization that, the Rant is never going to get the kind of love that an East Coast blog is going to get. Not for lack of creative heart, it just isn’t in numbers.

I can’t compete with population. 

I’m ok with that, it doesn’t change my roll whatsoever. I am what I am, and the Rant is what it is. 

i-sheet-my-pants.jpg I’ll keep you coming back with my wit, my grit, and my sh*t. I’ll give out mad props to any blogger of any team not located on the East coast who can keep his/her blog in the top 50.

 It ain’t easy, but it sure is fun. I’ll have the Ranter’s wishes for 2009 coming up tomorrow.

              Merry X-mas all…I’m itching to bust out that RockBand for the Wii…D 

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They’re old as dirt, and I laughed till it  hurt

 12-22-08               CHEECH AND CHONG “LIGHT UP AMERICA”Cheech and chong header.jpg


(Warning, some of the videos may contain swearing, and you could possibly smell smoke).

 The wife and I went to see Cheech and Chong last night at the Paramount Theatre in downtown Denver.

 It was a brisk night.

Brisk = F’n cold buddy, the temperature outside was six degrees.

The ticket stated that cameras were not allowed, but I managed to get mine inside.

Thinking I was Mr. Smooth with the camera, I noticed a lot of people had brought their cameras.

 I figured it must be cool then.

I managed to capture a little video, but it’s not very good. What’s worse, my   pictures suck even more.

 The problem was the spotlight they used for the stage was so bright inside the dark theater, my camera couldn’t compensate.

Chong’s wife Colby opened the show by telling  Cheech and Chong stories from back in the day.

She was really funny. 

She and Chong have been married since 1975, and have two children together.

Chong also has two kids from his first wife.

Rae Dawn Chong (actress), is his oldest. 

After Colby finished her routine, Chong came out and did a few minutes of stand up.

One of the first things he mentioned was how sorry he was that this reunion took 25 years.

 He said it like this: “You know, you can’t get rich Mexican to do sheet”. It was hilarious.

c and c in car.jpg I knew this show was going to be great when the first skit started off at the point in the movie “Up in Smoke”, where Cheech had just picked up Chong (who was dressed up like a female), hitchhiking. 

You remember, then Cheech gets pulled over and both drop a bunch of acid in a panic. When the Officer asked for his license, Cheech says, “My license, isn’t it on the bumper?” 

I couldn’t believe after waiting almost my whole life, I was watching that skit live. I was so glad they did their old material instead of a bunch of new crap. These routines were the ones I wanted to see and remember.

                                      Below is a short clip from the opening act.

While I was watching these guys perform, it really seemed like they hadn’t aged at all. Although, maybe it was because we were seated as far back from the stage as you could get. No matter, both of them went into character immediately, and it was like 25 years had never passed, I’m serious, they were that good.

 I’m not sure Chong was acting, I think he’s naturally that way.

Chongs Bongs.jpgTommy cracked a few jokes about himself going to Federal prisonl for selling bongs. Tommy was a target of the Justice Department’s Operation Pipe Dreams investigation. 

At the time, Tommy owned a company called “Chong’s Bongs” that he let his son manage. They sold glass bongs with a picture of Chong on them.  

Chong was sentenced to nine months in jail, fined $20,000, and forced to give up $120,000 in assets for that brilliant move. He made the comment last night “selling bongs is fine, just don’t put your picture on them”.

I did some research, and if you can find one of those bongs unused and unbroken, they’re quite a collecters piece and can be worth some serious green.



This skit was called “The first mexican in space”.

 I laughed so hard during this one I was crying.

This video sucks, but the picture helps you get a visual. 

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 One of the highlights of this show was seeing Cheech come out on stage wearing his infamous pink tutu. 

He sang his song called “Ear Ache My Eye”.

 “Mama sock it to me, tried to tell me how to live, da na na, da na na, da da na”.

                                                           Below is the clip:

 They said they were going to start their own television network called the THC network.             

       Here’s a skit from the game show on the THC network called, “Lets make a dope deal”. Chong plays the contestant, “Bob Bitchin”. 


                           Here’s a skit of one of Cheech’s characters named “Red”.

A funny thing, when we first arrived at the Paramount, we purchased a few beers and after I tipped the bartender he said, “Enjoy the contact high”. We laughed, but we had no idea this guy was serious.

 I’ve been to a few concerts in my day, this place was wall to wall smoke, no joke.

It would have been impossible to try to enforce any kind of non-smoking ordnance during that show, think about it,…it’s Cheech and Chong man.

smoke filled room.jpgIt just wasn’t going to happen. There were way to many people partaking in the herbal festivities.

Who knows, maybe that’s why we laughed so hard?

Or could the smoke have been purposely pumped in through the air vents?

Guess it’s not a problem if nobody complains? 

banana split.JPGAll I know is the whole drive home I was thinking about ice cream and it was almost zero outside??

   Here’s a list of their records together:


  • Cheech and Chong – (1971)
  • Big Bambu – (1972}
  • Los Cochinos – (1973)
  • Wedding Album – (1974)
  • Sleeping Beauty – (1976)
  • Up in Smoke – (1979)
  • Greatest Hit – (1981)
  • Get Out of My Room – (1985)
  •      Here’s a list of their movies together:

    1. Up in Smoke-1978

    2. Cheech and Chong’s Next Movie-1980

    3.  Nice Dreams-1978

    4. It Came From Hollywood.

    5. Things are tough all over.

    6.Still Smokin-1983

    7. Yellowbeard-1983

    8. Group Madness-1983

    9. Cheech and Chongs’s, The Corsican Brothers-1984

    10. Get Out of My Room-1985

    11. Far Out Man-1990

    They also mentioned that they would be filming a new movie. Chong’s wife Colby kidded and said it was going to be called, “Grumpy Old Stoners”.   For part of the encore, Cheech came out and sang every verse of “Mexican Americans”. It was beautiful.            
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     This show was everything I wanted it to be and more.

    If your into these guys, you need to see this show. They’re not going to be around in another 25 years…DThumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Green Floppy Ha